


Unsteady

by sagemary



Category: Bensler - Fandom, Law and Oder: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 12:13:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8013295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagemary/pseuds/sagemary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens if Elliot shows up one day, five years after he left for good?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was one month post Ed Tucker when the email arrived in her inbox. She was stirring oatmeal on the stove and her breath had hitched, the phone clattering to the floor. Noah, who had been playing around her feet, helpfully offered the phone back to her. She had inspected the cracked screen carefully and perhaps more thoroughly than was necessary before finally opening the email. 

Which was how she got here, sitting on a bar stool in a new black dress that showed a little more cleavage than she was used to. She felt a bit light headed as she sipped her wine and ran her fingers through her hair.  
"Olivia" his voice is a surprise even though she's been expecting it. He slides onto the stool next to her and orders a beer before she can work up the courage to look at him. When she finally does she sees the same face she saw nearly every day for twelve years and it sets her hands shaking.  
"How've you been?" He asks, when he sees her looking at him  
"That's your opening line? Really?" She laughs disdainfully, downs the last of her drink and motions the bartender for another one.  
"What do you want from me?" His voice is quiet and he looks down at his beer. She scoffs and it sounds immature even to her  
"I don't know, maybe an apology? 'Hey Olivia, sorry I left without saying goodbye and ignored you for five years'" her voice is harsh and she takes a gulp of her refilled wine.  
"Liv, I'm sorry- " he starts but Olivia cuts him off.  
"No." She says sharply "you don't get to call me that anymore. You have no right." She feels tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and her voice is a little shaky  
"Liv" his voice is pleading as he places his hand on top of hers on the bar.  
"Stop it." She snatches her hand up "I knew this was a mistake" she stands to leave but he stands too and grabs her hand, pulling her against him.  
"Please." He says and then he's kissing her. At first she is confused and she kisses him back, because, isn't this what she always wanted? And then her brain kicks in and she pulls away.  
"Don't." She hisses "you can't waltz into my life and give me what I wanted all those years ago and expect it to be fine. It doesn't work like that" and now the tears are falling, smudging her mascara and Elliot is still clutching her hand  
"I left because of you. It's always been you Liv. I fought it for so long and I thought maybe if I didn't see you all the time..." He pauses "It didn't work though. It's still you." His voice is shaking now  
"You can't put this on me Elliot" and with that she's gone

Olivia doesn't even make it halfway down the block before she has to stop. She can't breathe, her chest feels too tight and her vision is dark at the edges. She leans against the side of a building and closes her eyes, trying to take deep breaths. She had thought him being gone was bad but him coming back was worse. She had nearly forgotten how much she needed him- the smell of him, the feel of him. Her breaths are shallow and uneven and she can feel tears threatening to overflow once more.  
"Olivia?" The words sound muffled and she realizes her hands are pressed against her ears. She lowers them slowly and blinks her eyes, Elliot's face coming into focus.  
"What." She says in the strongest voice she can manage. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and looks at the ground  
"I just wanna say sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you like that" he glances up at her before looking at the ground again "I just miss you and I want to have you back in my life, even if it's just as a friend" he looks up at her again  
"Look at you, talking about your feelings and apologizing" her voice is softer now, almost joking  
"Yeah, I took some classes. Did a bit of therapy after the... Jenna thing" he's smiling at her and she cocks an eyebrow  
"Impressive" they both laugh and it feels good- natural  
"Thanks" he laughs  
"Do you want to head back to my apartment? Have a drink, watch a movie like old times." She quiet, a little unsure as she says it but when his face breaks open in a wide smile it calms her nerves a bit  
"I would love to" he says and she slips her arm into his, just where it should be.


	2. Chapter 2

Elliot knows he shouldn't have said yes to the invite. He feels the fragility of this temporary peace and he knows how easy it will be for him to screw it up. And yet, her arm feels solid against him, warming his frigid heart by a few degrees. He smiles down at her, noting that she was already looking up at him. His heart flutters.  
"Any specials guys in your life?" He asks, careful to keep his tone light and playful. She barks out a laugh.  
"Yes actually. He's three and his name is Noah" her face softens at his mention. He feels a lump form in his throat.  
"You have a kid" he whispers and tightens his grip on her arm. 

Liv unlocks her apartment door with Elliot in tow to reveal a young woman seated on the sofa with a small boy curled in her lap. The television is tuned to a show Elliot has seen his daughters watch.  
"Sorry, I was just about to move him" the woman says, switching off her show  
"Don't worry Lucy, I've got it" Olivia says, kicking off her heels and collecting her son in her arms. She presses kisses to his dark curls and murmurs something in his ear. Elliot is transfixed.  
"Make yourself at home" she says over her shoulder before disappearing down a hallway. Lucy gives Elliot a shy smile before grabbing her things and heading out the door. 

Now that he's alone, he gives himself permission to look around. The walls are decorated with photographs and a few pieces of artwork. He can see pictures of Noah and Liv, the squad, Noah with friends and a small photo, standing on top of an overstuffed book case draws him closer. It's of the two of them from nearly seven years ago. Her hair is pulled back like she used to wear it and his face is much less lined. He smiles.  
His next stop is the fridge, hoping to find a beer within. But a few childlike scribbles with 'Noah Benson' carefully printed in an adult hand in the corner make him pause. They are stuck on the surface along with a photograph. He can recognize Liv of course, and Noah but the blonde woman and child on the carousel with them are unfamiliar. All four of them look incredibly happy.  
"That's Amanda Rollins" he turns to face Olivia who is retrieving wine glasses from a cupboard. She motions towards a partial bottle of wine on the counter and he grabs it, pouring generous amounts into each glass.  
"How is the squad?" He asks, accepting the wine she offers him  
"Oh it's good. We have two new detectives, Amanda and Sonny. They're a little green but hardworking and they've come along way now" she smiles a bit "but Fin and I are still there of course. And we're just waiting for someone new to transfer in" a pained look crosses her face but it's gone quickly.  
"Munch? Cragen?" He asks, sipping his drink  
"Retired. I'm in charge now, I took my lieutenants exam just over a year ago" her expression is playful and Elliot is caught a little off guard. Somehow he had assumed the squad was frozen in time.  
"Wow, Liv, that's amazing" he pauses for an awkward second before leaning in and enveloping her in a hug. She freezes for a moment because they don't do this. But then her hands are sliding up his back, memorizing his muscles and his scent.  
Elliot pulls back after a long moment and looks down at her. Her eyes are dark with something he's seen before but can't quite distinguish. It takes him a moment to register her hands sliding up to his neck and the way her face is very close to his now. And now he can read her eyes. He leans in and closes his mouth over her lips. It is a brief but passionate meeting of mouths. When he pulls back he senses her shyness, her unsureness. He presses his forehead to hers and smiles  
"We're going to be okay Liv. I can just feel it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short. And I kinda feel like I'm going ooc but whatevvs, I'm having lots of fun writing this fic. Please review :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, sorry it's a bit short. Here's chapter one of my first Bensler fic! Please review, I'm not sure how long this story is gonna be but we'll see!


End file.
